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My Draft Experience by George Selvin

Hello, my name is George Selvin and I go to Alemany College where I play football and study Recreational Science and Engineering.  I don’t know much about this website, but my agent said it would be a good way to get my name out there.  I did not get drafted last weekend, which was a big surprise to me.  I’m keeping my head held high and trying to land with a team.  So, if any head coaches or GMs are reading this, hello.  My name is George Selvin and I go to Alemany College where I play football and study Recreational Science and Engineering and I would like to play for your team.

Draft weekend was a very crazy experience at the end of many very crazy experiences.  I did not realize that I was a big prospect until my dad hired me an agent.   I didn’t even play tackle football in high school, but I wanted to in college.  The only problem is that Alemany doesn’t have a tackle football team.  It does have a flag football club team, though, so I played that.  It was a very tough try out, and I didn’t think I’d make the team, but I did.  My dad was so excited he bought the team a new bus and uniforms and gave the team captain a new car.  He’s a pretty swell guy.  I was a good flag football player.  I don’t know what my position would be called, but I was the guy who waited for the snap and then counted to 8 alligator and run at the quarterback.  I didn’t get any flags, and sometimes a guy would run by me while I was counting, but I always tried to look mean.

Anyway, my agent came to watch one of my flag football games, and he took some videos on his iPhone.  A few weeks later, he told me that some teams were very interested in me after watching my tape.  They wanted to send some scouts to figure out how good of an athlete I was.  He gave me some drills to train for and told me to try to bulk up.  He said that in the NFL, they call the 8 alligator position a ‘nose tackle’, and told me that I needed to be bigger.  I’m 5’7” and 210 lbs, and he said that he was pretty sure that nose tackles in the NFL were at least 225 lbs, so I started eating a lot of pie.  It was the best part of training.

When the scouts came, they were very impressed by my abilities.  They put me through a lot of drills, like the trees run, where you have to run between two trees as many times as you can.  I got a 7 on the trees run, which they said was the highest they had seen this year.  I was not surprised since I was so tired.  In my other tests, I did 14 push ups on my knees and had a 4 inch vertical jump.  They said they had to call it a half a foot or something because it was too many inches and they were unprepared.  I could tell the scouts were impressed.  They all got on their phones and started saying “We need to get this George kid.  He’s a real athlete.”  They did a really good job, but I don’t think they get paid enough because one of them has to work at my dad’s office, too.  I saw him there that week and he looked scared when he saw me.  I think maybe he thought I was going to start counting alligators.

Later that month, I got invited to the NFL Draft.  My teammates all laughed when I told them, which I know means they’re jealous.  My dad told me that, and I know it’s true because people have been laughing at me all my life.  It looked like someone needed a nose tackle.

The invitation I got told me to bring my family, but my dad said he was too busy with some work thing to come and my mom must have forgot to give me her new phone number and email and home address because they were all wrong.  So anyway, my dad sent me and my agent on his plane and told me good luck.  On the plane, my agent (his name is Dale so I am going to call him Dale now) told me the plan.  Dale said people wouldn’t know who I was because I didn’t play real tackle football, but it was OK because he showed me a movie about another guy who didn’t play football until he was signed by the Eagles.  It starred that guy from “The Other Guys”.   Dale said I was a big secret and the NFL wanted me to be quiet until the right moment, so I wasn’t going to be invited to the big parties or go on TV.  That was OK with me.  We got to eat Sbarro’s and go to the big Nintendo store instead.

The NFL does a lot for players invited to the draft.  They had a gift basket delivered to my room Thursday morning filled with all my favorite candy and even a pie.  I got all dressed up in my new suit and we headed to Radio City Music Hall.  There is a special entrance in the back behind the dumpster.  Dale said it looked that way so people wouldn’t bug the players for autographs.  I told him I wouldn’t mind signing an autograph.  He said maybe later.  There was even a doorman at the special door.  He was very professional.  He had a nametag on his shirt and was wearing some strong cologne that smelled like Pine Sol.  I learned that New York doormen get big tips, because Dale gave him a big stack of money when he let us in.

The other players sure were nice, and they sure were big.  I was very surprised, but then I remembered that I was going to play a different position.  I told them I was there to get drafted to play nose tackle and they started laughing.  That’s when I knew nose tackle was an important job because they were all so jealous.  Dale told me to stay quiet and out of the way so I could be a secret.  There was no table for us, so we just pretended we were part of Cordy Glenn’s family.  It worked really well and we had fun.  They even pretended they thought I worked there and asked me to get some sodas.  Cordy didn’t come back on Day 2, so I had his whole table.  People asked me where my cousin was, but I just shook my head and said I did not know.  I should have invited him and more family, too.

One by one, all of the other players got drafted.  I thought I might go in the first round, but that didn’t happen.  Near the end of the 2nd round, it was just me and Rueben Randle left in the green room.  I told him I hoped we both got drafted soon.  He looked at me and said “What the hell are you even doing here?”  I just shook my head.  I knew what he was saying.  I couldn’t believe I still hadn’t been drafted yet either.  Rueben got taken and it was just me.  It started to get a little lonely in there.  Dale asked me if I wanted to just go back to the hotel and wait, but I didn’t want to miss my chance to go on the stage.  By the end of Day 2, I still hadn’t been drafted.

I woke up on Day 3 and heard Dale on the phone.  I knew it was my dad by the way he was saying “Yes, Mr. Selvin.  Of course, Mr. Selvin.  I’ll do my best, Mr. Selvin.”  Dale looked nervous when we went back.  There were some people cleaning in the green room when we got there.  They sure did look at us funny, but I think it was because they didn’t speak English.  There were no tables, so I just sat against a wall.  Dale was too nervous to sit.  He kept pacing around.

Finally, in the 6th round, Dale told me he’d heard I was going to be a Giant.  That sounded exciting to me because I already knew some places in New York like Sbarro’s.  Dale said he’d be right back, and he got right down on his belly and started crawling toward the stage.  I thought that looked like a fun game, so I crawled too.  I wasn’t as fast as Dale, so by the time I got to the curtain, he was already down on the floor.  He crawled over to a desk with a little New York Giants sign on it and started reaching around.  I saw him grab a pen and a little card while the guy wasn’t looking.  When they said the Giants were on the clock, Dale stood up fast and ran up to the stage with his little card.  I don’t know what happened, but some guys in suits grabbed Dale and dragged him off.  That must have made the Giants forget about me, because they didn’t call my name.   I think everyone else heard the Giants took me and didn’t know, because nobody else called my name after that.

So, I didn’t get drafted, but it’s OK.  I had a fun time and it was just crazy getting to do all that stuff and be part of Cordy Glenn’s family.  My dad flew me home and told me that Dale was a bad agent who hadn’t gotten me drafted.  He hired me a new agent, Max.  Max told me to write this up for this site You Don’t Know Football.  I think that’s a good name, because after all the videos and training and tests and still not getting drafted, I’m sure confused.  I definitely don’t understand football.   I’m not sure how anyone could.

George Selvin is an alleged draft invitee from Alemany College.  His story was unsolicited, but after being rejected for interviews by Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin, and even Cordy Glenn, we here at YDKF will take what we can get.

Comments

  1. Kim Kardasian says:

    George- you sound hot. Hit me up on twitter if you get signed and we can hook up. Kanye’s an asshole.

  2. GatorGar says:

    Sigh this beast!

  3. Steves850 says:

    George Selvin is IATA.

  4. Zutroy says:

    Did the Jets sign him as an undrafted free agent yet? He sounds like a guy with drive.

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